December 4, 2003
The Gift of Hope
In the mailbox the other day, I found a magazine that I hadn't been sent in a while: The Marrow Messenger, the regular newsletter of the national bone marrow donor program. I joined the program's database in 1995, when I visited a friend in California who took me with him to a marrow testing drive for a leukemia patient in his neighborhood.
I remember him telling me that didn't have to take the test, because the patient was white, and matches usually take place within the recipient's ethnic group. I suppose two things led me to go ahead anyway: the principle of shared sacrifice — after all, why should I have stood aside when I could at least do something symbolic to help — and the fact that African-American donor candidates turn out to be pretty thin on the ground, which makes it that much more likely that black patients who need help don't get it.
My test may not have helped anyone that day; I don't even know what happened to the patient who needed the transplant. Still, I didn't mind giving. If it turns out that I can be a lifeline to someone in the future who needs a transplant, after all, that morning I spent in line to give a blood sample will have been more than worth it.
Anyhow, I consider the marrow program a worthwhile cause, and anyone in a position to give should consider how much good they might do by signing up. You can learn more about the program by reading its frequently asked questions page, or by browsing through its website: www.marrow.org/.
Posted by Greg Greene at December 4, 2003 8:53 PM
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As the aforementioned "friend in California," I am profoundly grateful for your post. I remember well the morning we spent in line to register; I remember also that I was deeply awed, but not the slightest bit surprised, that you would so gladly give of yourself -- literally -- to help a man you'd never met. While on vacation, no less! Rather than take you to Fisherman's Wharf or Muir Woods, I took you to register to win a long-odds lottery in which the ticket was a needle stick, and grand prize was a painful operation and a chance at saving someone's life. It seemed the perfect thing for Greg Greene. Anything's better than Fisherman's Wharf, anyway.
Dan Daly was one of those men who would easily make the finals in any nationwide pageant for "America's Nicest Guy." In each conversation he had an uncanny ability always to make you feel like the more important person -- a difficult thing during the height of his illness, and an especially rare attribute for a lawyer. Dan was a good lawyer, a good father, and a good friend. Ethnic groups be damned; I wouldn't have been shocked at all to find you had identical marrow. Besides, Dan was Black Irish.
Despite enormous and enthusiastic participation in his marrow donor registration drive, the best match, albeit imperfect, turned out to be Dan's eldest daughter. Though just a high school student at the time, she underwent the transplant procedure with her father in August 1995. While it probably extended his life and gave him additional time with his wife and kids, sadly, the procedure was not a complete cure, and Dan died in 1997. He left a wife and four great kids.
I don't know if the Daly family reads blogs. Since they share Dan's compassion and commitment to justice, I'm sure they would admire the sensibility and humor of yours. And I'm doubly sure they would be touched that you still think of Dan and are proud of what you did to help him. And if they ever met you, they would know in an instant that you would have the guts to give your marrow without hesitation to save the life of a total stranger.
Thanks, Greg. I hope we both win that lottery.
Posted by: Timothy Fox at December 5, 2003 12:07 AM
... and that, ladies and gentlemen, is why Tim needs to get a blog.
Sorry to hear that he passed away, but I'm glad to have the update. And ditto that wish.
Posted by: Greg Greene at December 5, 2003 12:41 AM
Greg,
I also got my copy of The Marrow Messenger a couple of days ago. Several years ago a good friend of mine was diagnosed with leukemia and we had a local drive for donors. We had quite a good turnout, but, unfortunately Ronnie never got a match and he passed away about 3 years ago.
I had pretty much forgotten about my volunteering to be a donor until a couple of years ago when I came home from work one day to a letter saying that I was a preliminary match for someone, and asking if I was still interested in donating. Of course I was, so I called the Donor Center the next day to let them know that I was still available.
As it turns out the first blood test is just a preliminary test and much more additional testing must be done to further refine the marrow match. The Donor Center Fed-Exed a kit to the local lab and I went down for the secound round of testing which took a couple of months to complete.
I turned out to be a total match and was prepared to go to Kansas City (I think that was where I was to do the donation) but apparently the donee was too ill, and I got the idea that the person did not live long enough for us to try. I don't really know any details because all of this is kept very confidential.
The upside is that I have been through the total testing procedure so that if I ever do match again then we can proceed quickly to the marrow donation without having to wait for the second round of blood tests.
Posted by: fred at December 5, 2003 4:18 PM
I, too, have been tested to be a potential bone marrow donor. There was a drive - sponsored by my then college, Kennesaw State (not yet a university). It might have been 1995. Not getting tested, or worse yet, scoffing at the idea of inconveniencing oneself by giving marrow, is akin to watching someone, in the road, unable to move, as a car slowly hits and kills them. You were standing right there with them, capable of removing them from the path of the oncoming car, only you didn't.
danielle, who is off to update her whereabouts in the registry
Posted by: danielle at December 9, 2003 7:29 AM
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